To Tell Or Not To Tell: Revealing The Gender Of Your Unborn Child

Reviewed by James Brann, MD
Although with modern technology, most proud parents-to-be will have the opportunity at some point during the pregnancy to learn the gender of their child, some parents still choose the element of surprise. It may be unbearable for some, while others prefer the mystery. Then, there is a third group of people who make a conscious choice to learn the gender of their baby, but keep it a private secret only known by the mom and dad.

Is it a good idea to tell your baby’s gender, or not?

The cons of revealing your baby’s gender before delivery

Obviously this is a matter of opinion, but some things to consider if you do decide to give away the sex of your baby prior to its birth is that people will fill your nursery with “all blue” if you are having a boy and “all pink” if you are having a girl. Therefore, by not revealing the sex of the baby, you may force your friends and family to expand their horizons as far as gift-giving. You may get neutral colors, such as light green or yellow, beige or tan, and zoo or jungle themes.

Some say it also strengthens the bond they share with their mate to keep this one giant secret from the rest of the world. There are women who prefer not knowing because it makes them “push harder” in the delivery room, out of anxiousness to find out if the baby is a girl or boy.
Another reason not to disclose the gender of your baby is the same reason you would not tell a good friend they are the guest of honor at a big “surprise” birthday party. This is the ultimate surprise, so it can be really fun (on your part) to keep this big secret until you have the baby.
If you need one more reason not to tell, well we have all heard stories of people who thought they were having a boy throughout their pregnancies, and then “voila!” they have a girl! This can be disappointing if you have already filled your home with little boy clothes, decorations and boy toys. So, why not wait until you are really, really sure, which you can never be 100% positive until the baby arrives. Technology is certainly great, but it is not always precise.

The pros of telling people the sex of your baby prior to birth

On the bright side, if you do choose to tell people the baby’s gender beforehand, it can help you to be more prepared. So instead of getting neutral gifts, you will get more things you can actually use. Another bonus of telling people is that you will not have to be pestered by persistent relatives who may be offended or feel excluded.

For some parents, it can also be fun to tell people the sex of the baby because it gives them an opportunity to ask for advice. For example, if you have a couple of friends who have had a boy, they may give you pointers on different baby care tips for boys, and vice versa for girls. Sometimes the knowledge of others who have “been there, done that” can be of value in itself, so don’t overlook the fun in sharing your secret.

Whichever choice you make, you are free to do whatever you feel most comfortable. To share, or not to share, the gender of your baby? That is the question.


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